Ankie grew up in a family of entrepreneurs, trained as an economist, and shaped in the technical world of IHC Caland and the competitive environment of Unilever. Throughout her career, she continued to develop herself in various training methods and techniques. She has worked with people and teams in different industries, including the non-profit sector. As one of the experienced coaches at KeyQuest, she is certified in our TeamUP methodology. Ankie is driven by a deep interest in people. She has a unique ability to connect with individuals and teams, not least due to her disarming sincerity and openness.
Where do you think your genuine interest in people comes from?
My parents owned a butcher shop where we often helped out. Naturally, that meant a lot of interaction with a variety of customers. Service has always been in my veins. Until I turned eighteen, I had a kind of motto: make everyone happy in life. That was, in part, a survival mechanism. Then at some point, I thought, no, it’s curiosity. Who are you? How are you wired? What’s your life story? Now, my curiosity has become a way of influencing: forming relationships, creating connections. Some people tend to withdraw; I tend to step forward. In a group, I want to connect people. For example, I might say: how interesting, he can do this too, or she has done that. I find that comes easily to me. People say they feel safe around me quickly.
What is your primary ‘quest’ in life?
The search for independence and connection. You can only truly connect when you are independent; otherwise, the relationship is not equal. I believe that becoming independent is a fundamental step for people. The progression from dependence to independence to interdependence is a very logical growth process to me. This applies to teams as well.
“From dependent to independent to interdependent is a logical growth process for me.”
What is your idea of happiness?
Feeling space. Creating and sensing connections with others. Additionally, nature is very important to me.
What is your favourite trait in people?
Humor and self-reflection. Not humor that's just about laughing and having fun, but a kind of self-deprecating humor, a more balanced humor, and subtle wordplay. A bit of self-reflection I consider crucial.
What has shaped you the most as a coach?
I’ve always been quite eager to learn. I still am. I want to take control of my own development. If I want to do something, I invest in it because I want to excel. I think that's why I haven’t focused on one technique, but rather completed many different trainings and courses.
By which error or experience in the past have you changed your approach as a coach?
I once had a client, a manager, who wanted to merge two teams. During the intake, I didn’t probe his question deeply enough. What is your goal? Why do you want to do this? On that particular day, the two teams were present, and they both said they had no involvement with the other team. They didn’t have anything in common workwise. Socially, they had nothing. They didn’t need to learn anything from each other. I then told them; you guys are right; we will stop the program and revisit it. Such an intervention in the process was quite challenging. But when you see people who are resistant and questioning the program because they disagree with the principles, you need to say, let’s take a time-out and think about what makes sense for you as a team. Since then, I pay much more attention to contracting.
Moreover, I have learned to truly address difficult topics. For a long time, I secretly held the paradigm that harmony meant people agreeing with each other. But, as Jitske Kramer puts it, harmony is the skill of being able to solve problems and conflicts together. It’s about not avoiding or skirting around issues but truly addressing them. Harmony is essentially having the ability to disagree and still discuss things together in order to arrive at solutions.
“Harmony is the skill to solve problems and conflicts together.”
Which well-known team from the past or present would you like to coach?
I find the dynamics during a government formation process fascinating. Isn’t it incredible? They are together for 30 days, and then they come out and tear each other apart on Twitter. What have you all been doing together? I would find it extremely interesting to guide such a team.
Which three famous people would you invite to dinner at your home?
Obama, both Michelle and Barack. Mark Rutte, a former colleague at Unilever. And Boyan Slat, the young man who started The Ocean Cleanup. What would I want to discuss with them? I think passion and inspiration. And resilience. How do you stand firm amid the noise around you, with the judgments from people? It’s about standing strong with your roots in the ground. I find trees to be a beautiful metaphor for this: the more firmly rooted you are, the more you can handle. You see in all these people that they are motivated by their values and passion to make something better, to continue to invest in the bigger picture. I find that immensely intriguing.
What is your life motto?
Be awake! It’s not about living easily but about living in truth. Acknowledging what is really going on. It’s not so much whether you’re sad or happy; although those feelings are valid. At the same time, it’s important to see the real issues and focus on what lies within your circle of influence, so you can do something about them.
Another motto is work hard, play hard. I want my life outside work to matter too. I don’t mind working hard, but not non-stop. For me, it’s about balance. I enjoy celebrations; it can be sitting around a campfire with friends and doing fun things with people. And, of course, taking the time to continue to develop yourself.
If you weren't a coach, what would you want to do?
Be in nature with people. Run a café in a beautiful location where inspiring things can happen. I would love to create a space with a vegetable garden and a fire pit, where people come for reflection or training. On one hand, creating that space, and on the other hand, being part of it myself.
How do you recognize a successful team?
When there is good energy, not just pleasant energy but good energy. You can feel that there is a drive and a genuine desire to work with each other. I sometimes see teams that enjoy each other’s company, but they don't tell each other what’s going wrong. When faced with new developments or challenges, it becomes difficult. If you genuinely want to improve as a team, you need that shared drive. You’re essentially talking about a growth mindset, openness to feedback, and courage to tackle new challenges. I am increasingly aware of how essential such a growth mindset is.
Conversely, how do you recognize a dysfunctional team?
Nitpicking, digging up old grievances, and forming cliques. I certainly have teams where things don't go smoothly or sometimes encounter an impatient leader who wants to move quickly. However, that doesn’t always work. Sometimes you have to return to old pain. In these cases, I often use team lifelines as a starting point. Everyone shares their story through a kind of life timeline from the moment they joined. For one person, that might be half a year, for another, a week, and for yet another, ten years. This creates a sense of recognition; people need this to move on. Otherwise, it’s like a dolphin that keeps resurfacing every time.
Has the theme of safety become more important in recent years?
Yes, and I sometimes think almost too much so. I believe that safety starts within yourself. It begins there. It's becoming a kind of mantra to say that something doesn’t feel safe, or, this team isn't safe enough for me to speak out, so I won’t share. But wait a moment, there is a responsibility in receiving and giving. It can be uncomfortable to speak up. It’s daunting because it requires courage, but it also brings you something. If you need safety, you must first know yourself; what does that mean for you? And how can you do something about that within your circle of influence?
“I believe that if you (as a coach) show that it's okay to be who you are, people appreciate that.”
How do you create a safe environment in teams?
I think I am very much a people person. I often share who I am and a bit of my background, but I usually quickly switch to asking questions. What ‘phrase’ did you grow up with at home? What are you here to gain, and what are you here to contribute? How are you feeling? We are not just rational people; we have emotions as well. And I believe if you (as a coach) show that it’s okay to be who you are, people value that. For me, it works to not make myself bigger than I am. That often proves to be disarming.
What makes team coaching so fascinating for you?
The dynamics in a team really lie in the combination of the people present, each with their own puzzles, which I always refer to as their own tasks. I find that incredibly interesting. At the same time, it’s also quite complex, as you must factor in the influence of the environment. I absolutely love working with people and teams. Discovering what is needed to achieve the goal. Engaging in real conversations with people is sometimes challenging because you often have to get past egos and the entire political game. And sometimes, people themselves are reluctant. Where it becomes truly rewarding is when a leader is supportive and takes responsibility.
What do you consider the most valuable trait of a team member?
Maturity. This means on the one hand being independent and on the other hand the willingness to seek connection. Wanting to be part of the bigger picture, so that your contribution matters not just for yourself but also for the team. Moreover, being aware of what you are good at, what you are less good at, where you need each other, and how you can work together.
What valued trait in leaders do you think is overrated?
Decisiveness. I believe many leaders fall short in process facilitation. Just being able to navigate the conversation. Of course, we need to take decisions. And yes, there are urgent moments when a leader must say, we will do it this way. But that's not always the case, in fact, often it isn’t. And in the process leading up to the decision, I find that many leaders lack sufficient process skills.
I sometimes describe the relationship between a leader and their team using a circle. You have leaders who work from the centre, who only have connections with each individual. You have leaders who are part of the circle and engage in conversations that way. And then you have leaders who stand outside the circle and say to the team, go ahead and do it. I believe a leader must be able to switch between these roles. They need to recognize the difference between content, process, and procedure, and play with that in team formation. What we often forget in team formation is that you sometimes need to work through individual issues, especially if they are uncomfortable. You often have to share those within the team. That’s what actually strengthens the team.
“What I investigate in team coaching: what is the need of the team or individual versus what is necessary.”
How do you define success in your profession?
The complicated part of our work is that you never fully see the outcome. With trainings, you get often rated, nice. In team coaching, I try to find what the needs of the team or individual are versus what is necessary. The need might be to have an enjoyable day together, but what is necessary is what has to be addressed. If the necessary issues have been addressed, then I consider myself successful. It is then important to evaluate with the team. Have we grown? In what respect? And how do you see that? What do we do more of, and what do we do less of? It’s not so much about my evaluation, but whether the team can genuinely do more.
Finally, what is your philosophy on team coaching?
Egos aside. Recognizing and acknowledging each person's individual tasks. Seeing each other's strengths and recognizing them in each other.
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